


Not your Father's DID (Damsel in Distress)

by 27dragons, tisfan



Series: Sarcasm Prompts [8]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Damsels in Distress, Kidnapping, Multi, Rescue Missions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-03
Updated: 2019-01-03
Packaged: 2019-10-03 17:55:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 827
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17288681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/27dragons/pseuds/27dragons, https://archiveofourown.org/users/tisfan/pseuds/tisfan
Summary: ash339273-blog and two anons...Of that sarcasm list no. 54 is perfect for tony. And if you want pairing go with any ot3 of your preference..... Thanx😘.





	Not your Father's DID (Damsel in Distress)

“Am I a terrible person,” Bucky wondered, as they made their way into the bad guy’s lair (why did bad guys always have lairs, for fuck’s sake?) where intel had pinpointed Tony’s location, “that I get kinda hot when some idiot villain decides to tie up our boyfriend?”

“I assume you mean ‘hot under the collar’ and not ‘hot and bothered’,” Nat said. She shot a guard and snagged the passcard from where it was clipped to his shirt pocket before he hit the ground. “I feel like we should be the only ones tying Tony up in a sexy way. I feel very strongly about that.” She punctuated her feelings by kicking a minion in the face.

Yeah, he was a terrible person. That was okay, Bucky supposed, since he had good aim and could lift heavy things. He emphasized his own usefulness by picking off a baddie who was almost (but not _quite_ ) concealed and was lining up a shot on Nat.

On the other hand, Tony was sexy as hell, and he looked delicious when spread out, or tied to a chair, and obviously, Bucky wasn’t the only person who’d noticed, because it seemed that every other month or so, some bad guy decided to strap Tony down, or chain him up, and every single time it happened, Bucky had to swallow hard before they got down to the rescuing bits.

“Well, I could do with a little less of Tony having a black eye and needing stitches,” Bucky said. Tony was a work of damn art, and people needed to _stop_ messing up his face.

“Agreed.” Nat’s stolen swipe-card opened a panel, but not the door. Damn it, Bucky hated it when the bad guys had adequate security. It slowed things down. Nat plugged her phone into the panel and started running her countermeasures program. “Incoming, on our six,” she reported. “Keep them--” The floor shook under their feet, and the walls rattled. Half a second later, a muffled _boom_ reached their ears, and a klaxon started wailing.

“Fuck,” Bucky swore, checking his ammo. “Did you trip somethin’?” He picked off a few of the incoming, reloaded. “If you’re doing something, do it faster. I’m running low on ammo.”

Nat shot him a dirty look. “Of course I didn’t trip anything. I’m working as fast as I can.” It took her another ten seconds, and there were two more of those explosions. The heavy door swung open, finally, to reveal a command center that bore a striking resemblance to a kicked-over hill of ants. Minions and security guards were scurrying everywhere, working frantically to secure one of the interior doors. It didn’t look very sturdy.

“You’d think they’d be more concerned about what’s coming in this door than--”

 **BOOM**!

Bucky grabbed Nat around the waist and dove for the floor as the whole damn wall came in. Arm up to provide support as they were peppered with debris. “Christ on a _pogo_ stick!”

“What kind of third-rate wannabe villain builds walls out of _particle board?_ ” demanded a very familiar and welcome voice. “Spent it all on the front door, did you?”

“Tony?” Bucky yelled, trying to brace enough so that Nat could crawl out from under him without getting squashed by the wall. “You okay, doll?” Covered with debris and bleeding from a half a dozen minor injuries, Bucky shoved that the wall after Nat was clear.

“Bucky?” Without wavering in his aim in the slightest, Tony threw Bucky a bright grin. “And Nat! My two favorite superheroes! Fancy meeting you here!”

“Well, he’s not in distress,” Bucky said. He wasn’t quite grouchy about not being able to come to the rescue. Well, maybe a little bit grouchy. He _liked_ being able to show off for his boyfriend.

“I’m not a damsel in distress. I’m a damsel doing damage!” Tony said, perhaps a bit too gleefully. He shot at a minion who was trying to stealthily move toward a computer bank. He missed the minion, but the console all but blew up. “Oh, no you don’t.”

“So I see,” Bucky said, pointedly brushing off his jacket, then paused. “Tony? Question?”

“Yes, O Wintery One?”

“Why’n hell are you _naked_?” Not, mind, that Bucky didn’t appreciate a naked Tony. He very much appreciated a naked Tony. Just… in the middle of a villain’s lair seemed a slightly inappropriate place for nudity.

“They seemed to think I wouldn’t be able to cause any trouble, that way.” Tony flashed Bucky a grin. “You’d think they’d know better, by now.”

“They want trouble,” Bucky said, stripping off his jacket and offering it to Tony, “I’ll give ‘em some damn trouble.” The jacket did not quite cover Tony’s ass, the perky rounded cheeks sticking out from the bottom. It was a little distracting.

Okay, so it was a _lot_ distracting.

Which did not keep Bucky and Nat (with an enthusiastic Tony at their side) from leveling the place.


End file.
